Survivor: Valentines Day
by Catgirl the Crazy
Summary: Valentine's Day. Every mazoku's least favorite holiday. Can Xellos survive? Small tufts of AZ and LG fluf thrown in.


**Survivor: Valentine's Day**

Valentines Day. A day for lovers. A day to be honest about your feelings for those you care about. A day to show your appreciation for your loved ones. Young people exchanged chocolate, flowers, and candy hearts. Married couples went out for romantic dinners, to relive their days as newlyweds.

All in all, it was enough to make any Mazoku vomit.

Xellos sighed in resignation. He absolutely despised this time of year. All the HAPPINESS. Blech. Just thinking about it made him feel queasy.

There were various legends about how Valentines Day had gotten started. Some thought that it was in honor of the priest Marius Valentine, who in ancient times had performed marriage ceremonies for young couples, often of different social classes, whose families disapprove of their marriage. Others said that it was started by King Dokis III of Lyzeille in order to persuade his wife, Queen Valentinia, not to leave him.

Most mazoku were convinced that servants of the Shinzoku had started it purely to piss them off. If that was the case, then they had certainly succeeded.

What was really hard to bear about this holiday though, was that there was very little Xellos could do to relieve his frustrations. Normally, he would vent steam by wreaking havoc in some poor, unsuspecting village, perhaps even set out upon a murderous rampage if he was really stressed.

But everyone was so lovey dovey today, Xellos doubted they would notice Armageddon going on right outside their window. He had the Saillune royal family to thank for that.

Like most other Mazoku, he planned on staying in the Astral Plane for the next few days, until the danger had past. It was to be a very painful few days for sure… Being stuck the Astral Plane for that long, without any chaos for food and entertainment, was enough to make anyone stir-crazy.

He was going to have to find some way to pass the time…

Sherra felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end, and a sudden wave of foreboding washed over her. _Uh oh… I've got a really bad feeling about this…_

"Why hello Sherra!" said a disgustingly cheerful voice that she knew. "What a pleasant surprise! I never expected to run into _you_ of all people here!"

Sherra growled, turning to face the speaker. "What do you want Xellos?" she demanded, arms akimbo and shooting her best death glare at him.

Xellos feigned bemusement. "What on earth do you mean?" he asked innocently.

"You know perfectly well what I mean," Sherra retorted angrily. "You never drop in for a visit on anyone unless you're up to something. Quit playing dumb with me! What is it?!"

Xellos clasped his hand over his heart- or at least, where his heart would have been if he had one. "Why Sherra! I'm hurt! What on earth could I have done to make you suspect such a thing!"

Sherra snarled, seething at him. It took every fiber of self-control she possessed just to resist the urge to lunge at him and thrash him to bloody pulp.

They both knew that Xellos was four times as powerful as she was, and could easily wipe the floor with her in a fight.

Inwardly, Xellos was laughing his head off. This was so much fun! And the perfect way to vent his feelings. Usually, he didn't get much enjoyment from getting a rise out of Sherra. She was so straightforward and upfront about everything, she couldn't stand subtle scheming and trickery. Add to that the fact that her already short temper was frayed even further by the fact that it was Valentines Day… Making Sherra angry was like shooting fish in a barrel. No challenge whatsoever. Besides, the negative emotions of a mazoku weren't nearly as tasty as those of a human.

But in this case, Xellos didn't much care. Desperate times called for desperate measures.

Noticing how she was literally quivering with rage at him, he raised an eyebrow. "Now control yourself Sherra dear," he said in a condescending voice. "I don't want to have to explain to Lord Dynast why yet another one of his minions has been destroyed." Normally, this would have been enough send Grausherra's general over the edge. For a moment, it looked liked it would work, too. After a moment, however, she relaxed and smirked at him.

"I doubt it. From what I've heard, that Seyruun girl can get you begging for mercy just by singing about love and justice. Is it true?"

_That_ wiped the smile of off his face. "Where did you hear that?"

Her smile grew wider. "So you don't deny that it's true?" He made no reply. Her face broadened into a grin. "Huh. Guess Lord Beastmaster exaggerates about you." Now she had insulted not only him, but his master as well.

"I can assure you," he said quietly, "That any rumors you have heard have been greatly exaggerated."

Sherra shook her head, smiling. It felt nice to have him on the defensive, for a change. "I don't believe you. During that Dark Star affair, she her friend were able to neutralize you in a matter of minutes simply by singing 'Life is Wonderful,' correct?"

He stiffened. "I am perfectly capable of dealing with Miss Amelia's antics if the need arises."

"Then prove it." There was silence for a few minutes. Sherra grinned triumphantly. She had him backed into a corner, and they both knew it. There was only one way Xellos could get out of this with both his pride and his masters honor in tact.

"What do you propose?" he asked resignedly.

"Spend all of Valentine's Day tomorrow in Seyruun City," she said immediately. Xellos came close to refusing. He knew that the levels of love and happiness in that city would be approaching life-threatening levels, even for a high-ranking mazoku like himself. But if he refused, that Dynast would never stop gloating over it to Zelas. _That_ was simply unacceptable.

"Very well," he said evenly. "I accept your challenge." He had a feeling that this Valentine's Day was going to suck even more than usual…

* * *

_Several hours later…_

_As Seyruun Valentine's day festivals go, this one isn't so bad,_ Zelgadis reflected. Sure, there were still the same old, over the top pink heart decorations and sickeningly cute cherub designs. And sure, all the bards were reciting the same old soppy and sentimental love ballads. And sure, they still had the little boys running around in nothing but their underwear and a pair of fake wings, carrying heart shaped bows and arrows.

But somehow, none of it seemed to irritate him as much as it used to. He couldn't his finger on exactly why this one was less intolerable than previous Valentine's Days festivals. Maybe he had simply grown used to it all…

"Watch where yer shootin that thing kid!" Lina shouted, waving a stick at one of the little cupid-boys. In a past life the stick had been part of a heart shaped lollypop which Gourry had given her, until she devoured it three seconds later. "Honestly," she grumbled, "whose bright idea was it to give it to give weapons to four year olds?"

"I don't really think you're in a position to criticize," Zelgadis pointed out.

"Shut up."

Gourry picked up the fallen arrow and examined it. It looked like a regular arrow, only it was pink and had a heart in place of an arrow head. "It's not so bad Lina," he commented. "They've blunted the tip so it won't hurt anyone."

Lina glared at him. "Even a blunted arrow can still hurt if it hits you hard enough."

"Really?"

Lina growled, grabbed the arrow, and jabbed him hard in the shoulder with it. "See?!"

Gourry yelped and grabbed his shoulder. "Ow! I was only kidding Lina!"

Zelgadis tuned them out as the argument escalated. Sooner or later they would cool down on their own. _I wonder where Amelia went…_

"There you are Mr. Zelgadis!" He turned and saw her wave and run gracefully towards him. She then ruined the effect by tripping over her pink frilly dress (which matched the confetti and streamers that littered the streets).

Picking herself up, she thrust something under his nose. "Here!" she said. "I got this for you."

Zelgadis stared. It was giant heart shaped cookie, with his name written in pink icing. "Uumm.. th-thanks, Amelia…" he stammered. He could feel his face heating up like an oven. She wasn't… was she?

Amelia looked behind him. "What happened between Miss Lina and Mr. Gourry?" she queried.

Zelgadis looked over his shoulder. Gourry was now trying to avoid Lina as she came at him waving was appeared to be the dismembered leg of a carved wooden cherub statue. "Don't ask," he said dryly.

Amelia shrugged. "I guess I'll have to wait to give them their cookies?"

"Huh?"

"I got one for each of them," Amelia explained, holding up two cookies similar to the one she had given him, with Lina and Gourry's names written on one of each.

"Oh." Zelgadis felt relieved, and oddly enough, disappointed as well. Suddenly, it occurred to him that he should probably get something for Amelia too. "Um, Amelia, I just remembered, uh… there's something I gotta go do… yeah… back in a minute..." without another word, he dashed off.

Before Amelia had had much time to wonder about his odd behavior, Lina's voice called her name. "Hey! Amelia! Ya gotta come look at this!" Lina and Gourry were stand at the entrance to a narrow alley between two shops. The redheaded sorceress kept bursting into fits of laughter every few seconds.

"When he wakes up, I am going to make sure he _never_ lives this one down," Lina cackled. "I'm gonna have so much fun with this one…"

Gourry scratched his head, somewhat bemused. "You'd think he'd be smart enough not to come here on a day like today…"

Amelia peered into the alley way. Passed out on the cobblestone floor was none other than Xellos, his face the color of pickles.

Somewhere on the Astral Plane, Sherra was laughing her ass off.

* * *

A/N: This is for Ahria's Valentines Day challenge. Just a random idea that popped into my head. Sorry if you think the way Xellos gets himself into the bet is kinda OOC for him.

For those of you who don't know, Sherra is the general of Dynast Grausherra. She's not as powerful as Xellos because Dynast and Zelas put the same amount of power into creating their minions, but Dynast created four while Zelas created just one (Xellos). That means that each of Dynast's individual servants are only about one fourth as powerful as Xellos. I don't know much about Sherra's personality, so I took a lot of dramatic liscense with her.

Happy Valentine's Day ya'll!


End file.
